Holiday [Energy] Jokes

<A trader, analyst, and broker find a genie in a lamp...>
The trader wishes for unlimited market volatility.
The analyst wishes for perfect foresight on price movements.
The broker? He just wishes for more clients like these two.

(we got a few more below)

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The early launch was just a glimpse of the powerful features coming your way in 2025. We can't wait to show you more!
We plan to change the way you do trading research.

<A trader, an analyst, and a broker are on a TV game show… who takes home the grand prize?>
The analyst – they calculated the odds of every choice while the trader kept hedging and the broker tried negotiating for a better prize.

<A trader, an analyst, and a broker are in a maze… who finds the exit first?>
The analyst – they mapped the entire maze and found the shortest path while the trader was betting on which way to go.

<A trader, an analyst, and a broker are stranded on a desert island... who survives?>
The trader – they shorted the island and bought a boat.

<A trader, analyst, and broker are in a room...>
The lights go out.
The trader starts buying candles.
The analyst researches why the power went out.
The broker sells both flashlights—at a premium.

<A trader, an analyst, and a broker walk into a bar...>

The bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The trader says, "I'll take whatever's moving fastest."
The analyst says, "I'll wait until I see a trend."
The broker says, "I'll take whatever they order, and charge them both a fee."

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